My first love recently ended in my first true heartbreak. It was so easy to fall into that relationship and just as easy for me to be pushed out of it. However, this evening I have decided to rip this band-aid off and start moving forward and stop wasting time starring off and thinking about what I could’ve done to keep him in love with me. I see now and know there is nothing I can or could’ve done to keep us together. We were moving fast towards two opposite directions, we had stop talking to each other and the sex…well the sex was still great but it was as meaningless as the first time. I love him. I probably will for awhile. But school gets in on the 12 of January and I need, at the very least, to be awesome at pretending this has not phased me and we can be friends. From this point on I will no longer fall apart when I see his face wash in walgreens or when I hear his name. I will not think about him and his ex-girlfriend fucking over Christmas break or him and his roomate fucking or him and Ryan fucking because he thinks he’s gay. I will be a good friend.